Is making friends in retirement on your list of things to do?

How do you make new friends in retirement? That’s a great question with no easy answer.

And it’s not limited to people in retirement. At a certain point in life it just gets harder to meet people and make new friends. Built in social networks like school, the workplace, or even parents of your children’s friends are no longer there. You may need to look for friends in places you didn’t think about before. Maybe relationships with neighbors, former colleagues who are now retired, old friends you lost touch with, or acquaintances can evolve into new friendships. Or you just may need to meet some new people.

Image of shadows of friends hiking

How to build new social networks?

You can find many suggestions online about ways to try to meet new people. But first I think it’s important to note that making new friends is more than just about finding things to do (as important as that is). It’s about putting yourself out there and making the effort to build new friendships. It’s rare that a friendship will drop in your lap. Like any relationship it requires time and work.

I liked this article in Psychology Today because it went beyond just listing places where you could possibly meet new people. Instead, the focus is more on attitude and mindset. Making friends may mean stepping outside your comfort zone. You may not be someone who likes joining groups or trying new activities by yourself. You may have to push yourself to do that. This is why finding activities that you will like is so important. Also, while joining in is always good, it is also good to sometimes take the initiative and reach out to someone or to be the one who organizes.

We should also recognize that not all potential friendships work out or a friendship may not last. As the Psychology Today article notes, don’t take it personally, just move on. Another thing to think about is that there can be different types of friendships. Not everyone is going to be a new “best” friend. Some people may become “activity” friends while others you may develop a closer relationship with. Try to take what potential friends have to offer on their terms and hope they will do the same for you. The important point is that you continue to make the effort as you strive to develop the social circle that makes you happy.  

Ways to meet new people

The Day-to-Day Life section offers some suggestions for new hobbies and volunteer work where you may be able to meet new people. Other suggestions can be found online—two examples are:  

Generally online articles on this topic will suggest things like: join a club, participate in local events or activities, volunteer, participate in religious institutions, attend classes or lectures, get involved in your community/ politics/ advocacy, join a gym or exercise studio, attend fitness classes, and, check out a local senior center or other place that offers activities for adults in your community. 

Using social media to find activities

I was a little surprised to find “Embrace technology” or use social media mentioned in many of these articles. It’s not something I would have thought of but it turns out that this is how I have made some new friends. The 2 I have used are Meetup and Facebook.

Image of shadows of friends at Yosemite National Park

  • Meetup: Meetup groups can be found throughout the country and cater to a wide range of interests. You have to join to participate in a group but joining is free. Also, you can explore what’s available in your area without joining. Examples of categories of groups in my area include hobbies, games, cultural & religious groups, health & wellness, fitness, outdoor activities, social activities, writing, and lots more.  One thing to look out for, many groups meet in the evenings and weekends. If you are retired and looking for groups that meet on weekdays there will likely be fewer groups that will interest you but they do exist.
  • Facebook: Facebook also has local groups around different interests. There are many groups with outdoor activities (e.g. hiking and kayaking), or for social activities (with some aimed specifically toward people over 50), groups around art, food and diet, music, travel, and lots more.  You may need to join the group before being able to see the posts.  

What have you done to try and meet new people?

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